Stealing Thai girl

I ran across this post on the Internet today:

“Okay, changing the topic to something a little darker, I met a nice guy and fellow blogger the other night in the bar and as often happens I heard an interesting tale, or rather, dilemma faced by the love struck Punter. I asked him if it was okay to share with the elite tfs2m readership for their thoughts and he was game. I mean, it’s free advice so I’m sure there will be no regrets.
Here’s the deal, he’s been dating this girl for about two years, yes, an ex-bargirl. Let’s call her CNN (he told us she likes to watch news over thai soap operas which he concerned him). Our Punter friend we will call nowwhat? is a middle-aged semi-retired decent kind of guy. I actually don’t know him that well but he reads this blog so he should be okay, right?
nowwhat? was checking his bank balances recently and noticed a mysterious withdrawal of 10,000 baht. The bank confirmed that it was made with his card on the specified date. Later that day CNN came clean and admitted in tears that she needed the money desperately to pay some debt. She took his card and knew his PIN from looking over his shoulder when he withdrew money.
nowwhat? was and still is devastated and to make matters worse, he’s really in love with her. According to him she’s been an absolute dream the past two years. He’s happier than Michael Phelps watching a Cheech and Chong film and couldn’t stop singing her praises, and I could tell he genuinely does love her even though he was a few Pints in. Perplexed and desperate he spilled this out on me and two friends at the bar and we were happy to offer our slightly inebriated services. We genuinely did want to help the guy which is part of the reason I am mentioning it here.
There were mixed suggestions from the group session at the bar so I wanted to see if other’s could help nowwhat? out here.”


I will add some of the comments here also:

"The one thing nowwhat? cannot do is allow his emotions to cloud his judgment. He needs to step back from the situation to rationally look at what has happened and what the implications are. Then, he will see clearly that this relationship isn’t going to last. It is best to dump it on his terms now instead of waiting for further complications." Cruizn

"A guy who throws his dog to the pound over one pile of dookie, has no business owning a dog." MrLucky (Right said! Bangkok John.)

"Tough situation nowwhat finds himself in..it’s a slippery slope. The question is..why didnt she just tell him the truth about her debts and ask for his help? If she is willing to conceal this kind of stuff, she is willing to conceal more..and one would need to ask..”Is she really trustworthy?”

Seems to me that old habits are hard to break..and an ex-bargirls ability to trust and be honest are not exactly well documented.

I dont think a serious relationship with any bargirl (x or not) is ever possible…" Indu WangZi

"@Nowwhat- The fact that she, at one time, looked over his shoulder while he was at the ATM and remembered his pin code shows that her deeds were precalculated, and not just an instantaneous mistake based on a knee-jerk reaction, or desperate need of the money. I would set her up, and see if she takes the bait." I Phukit

"A couple of years into our relationship my (now) wife took a small gold statue of mine to the gold store and cashed it. I caught her in the act and she was pretty distraught - ended up her parents really needed some cash (legitimately) and she was really afraid that I would say no if she asked me. She is real miserly in giving cash to the family and helps me to save money in day to day transactions, so I didn’t sweat the act. Actually, what it did do was make me ask why she felt that I wouldn’t help for something which is important for her.

Now, nine years later still going strong and she actually helps save money out of the allowance I give her." Naki


My response:

Wow!

Some of you guys are really cynical. Like you all have clean consciouses, whore mongers as you are! ;-P Go home and tell your mom about your experiences and see what relationship advice she will give to any future potential girlfriend. Stay the fuck away from my son!!! For your own sake... Self righteous pricks!

She looked over his shoulder and that proves it was premeditated?? Really? I've got a good memory and I probably know the ATM codes of 4 or 5 of my friends, and my Thai girlfriends. Doesn't mean I'm planning to rip them off.

He has been with her for two years and this is her first slip up and a lot of you guys wants him to axe her without hesitation. I'm pretty sure some of you guys treat these girls anyway but nice and that if a girl cheats you back it would be well deserved. Why do you think so many bar girls hate Farangs? Because we are so honest to them and treat them so nice?? Most of these girls start in the business hoping to marry with a nice and rich Farang but after being fucked (in all ways) by a few they start fucking back. Who wouldn't? I do believe that most of them want out of the “game” and that if the right option comes along, and can win their long lost trust back, it can work. It will not be easy, like living with an addict trying to give up the drug of choice, but if you love someone and you believe they really want to change some people will give it a shot. It will not always end well but sometimes it does.

I've been a shit for a good part of my life and I know that people change, from first hand experience, which is why I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. 10 years ago my mom was handing out the before mentioned relationship advice to anyone who wanted to listen...

Fact is anyone can slip up, and does. If this was a Farang girl what would you do? Or maybe some of you think that would never happen with an honest Farang girl?? They are not all perfect you know, Anna Nicole Smith anyone?

OK, my advice:

Ask her what the money was for and why she didn't feel comfortable asking him for it. If the answer is satisfactory, let it slide but tell her that it's unacceptable to do like this and that if it happens again she is out the door. The Thais don't see things the same way as Farangs and sometimes what is unacceptable to us is totally normal, and no big deal, to them. It's a learning experience to have a Thai girlfriend, for both parties, and you have to be able to adjust just as you expect your girlfriend to do. If not, get a fat feminist Farang (FFF) girlfriend who will make your life a lot more miserable than most Thai girls will, bar girl or not.

I have a friend who had a similar experience with a Thai girlfriend. This girl is from a nice family, her dad is a judge and she works as a lawyer, and she would not go to any of the places where the “game” is played even under gun point. One time he caught her sending money to her, not so well off, aunt from their shared bank account, without telling him about it. When confronted it turned out that the aunt was sick and had been a long time (confirmed later in person). She didn't want to tell my friend because he works so hard and she didn't want him to have to worry about this. And this is a Thai girl with a good international education who has also studied in the USA. It is just the way they think, learn and accept or don't have a Thai girlfriend.

DON'T change the code on the ATM! It will only show her that he don't trust her anymore no matter if he says he forgives her or not. This will be very bad! Better to get a second bank account and keep most of the money there if he is worried it might happen again. That's the way you should do it anyway, you should never keep more than spending money on your ATM account or you are asking to get skimmed.

Good Luck!